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What is the true definition of self-confidence? Where does it come from? How do we create a solid self-confidence in this ever changing world that is constantly battles with you and who you are? Each day is a battle to the finish of who will come out on top, what makes those successful athletes tick everyday when it comes to their self-confidence and or self-worth?
The dictionary puts it plainly by stating that self-confidence is confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities, Merrian-Webster. It’s also commonly defined as the sureness of feeling that you are equal to the task at hand. This sureness is characterized by absolute belief in ability. Nepoleon Hill, Author of The Laws of Success explains that “You can do it if you believe you can!” The thought that maybe if you believed that the unimaginable can happen it would.
Letting go of all the insecurities and just believing in something positive would attract that very supreme event, moment in time, and feeling that would be remembered for a life time.
According to the leading sports psychologist the essence of confidence focuses on the objective allowing the brain and body to react. The confident athlete lets his or her body and brain run on “auto pilot.” Of course, having high levels of self-confidence is no guarantee of success and will not compensate for lack of skill, but in situations where competitors are evenly matched it can be the crucial determinant.
Talent stems from more than just physical skills; the majority of an athlete’s talent is linked to their mental game. If an athlete’s emotions, confidence, and inner peace are in chaos, their physical skill performance shows as such. A confident and peaceful mind allows the body and mind to react in indescribable ways. A reaction without thought or reason, just the body remembering what it has done a million times, and a time of effortless finesse. Some call it “The Zone,” where everything seems quiet, you can see everything and your focus is the sharpest it’s ever been, you see the task at hand and react with no thought or worry in the world.
Many athletes are afraid of defeat or criticism, but “You are fortunate if you have learned the difference between temporary defeat and failure; more fortunate still, if you have learned the truth that the very seed of success is dormant in every defeat that you experience,” (Nepoleon Hill). Practice makes better not perfect in every situation. There will be many defeats and frustrating situations, but it’s how we handle or deal with, and learn from those defeats that define an athlete’s character and real talent.
Some may wonder how to experience this zone like feeling or presence when competing? The truth is that it’s not easy to create and can be very hard to sustain. There are so many outside variables that cause us to struggle with this very thing. Money, status, rank, position, record, etc always jades our minds on what is really important in life. Why would a person need to base their self-confidence or worth on a play they made, a ball not hit, or a calf not roped, and the list goes on? If it was easy, everyone would do it. If we were perfect there would be not competition, if no one made a mistake than no one would be the winner.
Many athletes and performers I work with often wrongly determine their self-worth by how successful they feel about their sport. When an athlete performs well or feels successful, he or she can feel good about him or herself. However, the opposite is also true: despair and low self-esteem results when this person does not perform well or view him or herself as a failure.
Athletes are especially vulnerable to this problem of attaching self-esteem to one's performances because you are judged by how well you perform. However, society sends subtle signals that you must achieve in your sport to feel worthy as a person and that is the trap that many athletes fall into. In addition, if you are perfectionist, it does not help your self-esteem because you have such high expectations and are always so critical and hard on yourself. If you fall into this trap, your emotions, and how you feel about yourself, are heavily influenced by the perceptions of your performance, which can naturally vary from day to day. Thus, one day you have self-esteem and the next day it erodes due to what you think is a poor performance or practice. One athlete in my seminar stated: "Even if I felt I had a flawless performance, if I did not get a good reaction or the reaction I was looking for, I feel like a failure." This statement highlights how out of control one can feel about his or her success or failure, and thus make negative judgments about one's performance.
If your life is sport, you are at greater risk for self-esteem problems because you have "all your eggs in one basket" and cannot separate the different roles in your life. Strive to find a balance in your life with your family, school, friends, and other career aspirations. This will help take the pressure off your sport and allow your self-esteem to grow.
People, who are your true friends and family members, love you for who you are as a person first. They do not judge you based on your performance or change their view of you because of how good you are as an athlete. If they do, they are not your true friends. They like you for what you bring to a relationship as a person, not as an athlete.
When you are performing, you are in the role of an athlete. You want to be into that role fully when practicing and performing, but when you leave the sporting arena, it is time to switch roles into other parts of your life and let go of judgments. Do not superimpose the role of an athlete (or how well you can perform) into other areas of your life. Excerpts taken from Dr. Cohn P. (2007), "Self-esteem in the athlete", Brian Mackenzie's Successful Coaching (ISSN 1745-7513), Issue 38
"And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him." 1 John 5:14
"He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless." Isaiah 40:29
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! " Isaiah 26:3
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance."Romans 5:3
This blog offers complied thoughts, research, excerpts of articles, and pure inspiration! Credit has been given to authors and information providers.
-By Jennifer Seward
Owner of True Cowboy
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